August 15, 2019
The first furry I met, aside from Ash, was Osric. We went to see a movie. We were so painfully shy.
After seeing the movie, you drove him back to where he had parked, and you sat for a few moments in pained silence, then hugged and went your separate ways.
Years later, I’d take a picture of him and his husband after his graduation that I think they still have. Years after that, his husband would officiate JD and I’s wedding.
When was the last time you talked with either of them?
Bel favorited a tweet of mine not too long ago.
You grew up.
Yeah, we all grew up. We bought houses. We got jobs.
JD and Os dated for a little, and Bel and I nearly did. Even up until when I was working on polycul.es, we had dashed lines between us. I loved them.
‘Loved’?
I still do. Very much so. But every year, that love gets more abstract. More academic.
Bel and I clicked on a sexual and nerdy level on which Os and I seemed to miss each other. I wasn’t toppy enough for Os, and the nerdery — minus, briefly, EVE — was work, for him.
Eventually, it got that way with you, too. And then you started feeling uncomfortable with sex.
Our relationships were organic. We met randomly. We drifted closer, orbited each other, and then we drifted apart. The same happened with friends from high school and university. The same happened with friends from the PN on FurryMUCK.
From those first, halting meetings, I wound up slowly working my way into meeting furries in person. First, there were the few at school. Then the few at the queer group. Then, in university, Os dragged me to Fort Fur Friday, which I attended basically until they moved out of Fort Collins. That’s where I met JD.
Then I managed to make it to Anthrocon 2005. Then Further Confusion 2007. I was sold.
There’s this trope that pokes its head up every now and then, that there is an age-out date for furry. A time when you realize you’re too old for this shit and peace.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
There is some of that, yes, but I like Qoheleth more than Paul. I like Ecclesiastes better than the epistles.
When you graduated high school, you stamped I Cor. 13 in your friends’ yearbooks.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
Well played.
There is a time for reaping and a time for sowing; there is a time for being a hardcore nutjob furry and a time for taking a break and just being a human for a while.
This, too, is meaningless.
Well played.